After a drama filled morning we finally saw the Neurologist late yesterday afternoon. He wasn't going to see us at all (yesterday and today are Public Holiday's in Cameroon) so I'm grateful that we were able to have a consultation.
The Neurologist is still convinced that Elliott has WEST Syndrome. The MRI showed that their are no other lesions in his brain and this is something that we were very concerned about.
We told him about our weekend of Elliott having serious convulsing, and a terrible cough that left his body in spasms for several hours. I showed him videotape from the weekend. The good news is that some of what we thought were seizures were not. The Dr. thinks that his muscles are trying to come back to full usage and that is why he flails as much as he does. He spent a good amount of time with us showing us the difference between the flailing and a true seizure. After we get the seizure's under control we will go back to find out the cause of the flailing but for now He assures us, this is the least of his problems. It's annoying but nothing to worry about.
We have 7 new medications and they seem to be working.
Today has been a better day. The coughing isn't as violent and is down considerably. He has had noticeably less seizures and has been able to sleep comfortably.
We will stay in Yaounde until Thursday for observation and to be sure that there are no adverse reactions to any of the medications. There are 2 other Doctor's in the U.S. that have been graciously helping with this case and I will wait to get a 2nd and 3rd opinion. Hopefully we will be able to travel back to Buea on Friday. We will return in one month to have new EEG's and repeat several tests to see how his brain is responding to the medication.
So many of you have sent me emails asking how I am and I have politely ignored them. I'm not going to lie. This is rough. It's harder than I ever thought it would be. Who knew that you could fall in love so quickly and have so much pain for a child I just met. Some day's I'm angry with God for breaking my heart but this is who I am and what He has called me to do. Elliott isn't the first sick child I have dealt with and he surely won't be the last.
There are many times that I am afraid. I'm afraid that we won't find the answers, or if/when we do, we won't have the money or the correct treatment available. I'm afraid that he will die before we find treatment. I'm afraid that I don't have the resources at my fingertips and people will get sick or me asking for help. I'm afraid that he will continue to suffer but most of all I'm afraid to give up. I have had to remind myself that Perfect Love Casts out ALL fear and that fear doesn't come from God.
I'm guilty of trying to do this by myself, without the help of others and without the help of God. Neither will work. God didn't ask me to come to do this alone. He asked me to be a voice for the voice-less and a willing servant to serve those who are in need. I can't do those two things without leaning on Him. I will admit to you that I have been angry with God. Watching this child cry and suffer has broken me like nothing else has. As I watch him depend on us for his everything, I have been reminded that this is what God wants from us. He wants us to seek Him and need Him for EVERYTHING. Not just when we think we can't do it on our own. Elliott can't do anything without the aid of his care-givers and he has no problem opening his mouth with every little need. Sometimes all he want's is to be touched. He just wants me near him. There are times when I get out of bed and he immediately cries. All I need to do is walk back over to the bed and he is quiet. He desires my presence, just as my Heavenly Father desires my presence. He wants me with Him AT ALL TIMES, not just when I think I need Him for something.
I am guilty of trying to be Mrs. Fix It. Toya can fix NOTHING but Christ can fix ALL. This whole experience has reminded me of just how much God loves us and longs for us. He desires our Presence. He desires to talk with us and fellowship with us intimately. He will do anything for us because we are His children and He loves us. This doesn't mean that we always get what we want and as kids we often have to be disciplined to learn what is right and what is wrong. I'm so glad that I don't have to do it alone. I have Jesus and I have all of YOU!
Many times I have been told that it's a miracle this baby is even alive. What if we didn't care? What if we said, we don't have what he needs so let someone else worry about him. He surely wouldn't be alive today.
Thank you for following Elliott's story. Thank you for your prayers and your sacrificial giving. Thank you for loving children half way around the world that you have never met. Most of all I thank you for listening to the voice of the Lord. Myself and a few others were chosen to be "on the field" to see this up close and personal but we could not do anything without you hearing the voice of the Lord and helping where He speaks to your heart to help.
Thank you for being the Body of Christ. We are surely the hands and feet of Jesus on the earth and the Nation of Cameroon and your neck of the woods will be changed by the story of this sweet baby.
Elliott is thriving and getting the help he needs because of the love of Jesus shown through YOU!
Please keep all of us in your prayers.
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