The Unknown

Sophia and Nadege, my precious girls

Baby Elliott all dressed up for my Graduation Ceremony

Three questions have been consistent in my email/Facebook lately.

1.    When are you coming back to the U.S.?

2.    Are you going to adopt baby Elliott?

3.    What about your girls in Haiti?

These are all very good questions and yet, none of them have a truly simple answer. I will do my best with this blog.

1. - When am I coming back to the U.S.?

       

The simple answer is, I don't know. I was scheduled to come home on July 12 for a few months of visiting, reporting on what I have done for the last year and of course, support raising for next year. This all changed when Dr. Mbassi told me that Elliott would need to be on medication and watched very carefully for the next 18 months. Elliott is from an orphanage that has 130 children and 6 workers. The ability for them to watch him very carefully and provide the special care that he needs simply isn't possible. So, I have obtained official Temporary Legal Custody of Elliott and will be his primary care-giver for the time being. I have cancelled my flight home and we shall see what the future holds for me making a trip back to the U.S.

2.    Am I going to adopt baby Elliott?

       

The simple answer here is also, I don't know. This is a questions that I ponder almost daily. There are many things to consider when thinking about this. Elliott is a twin. His sister Cathy Praise is still living at the orphanage. We visit when we can but with the care that Elliott needs right now, I simply cannot handle he and Cathy Praise alone. I think it's fundamentally wrong to keep them separated long term but I wonder if I will be able to care for the two of them properly.

Cameroonian law requires you to have the children you wish to adopt in your physical custody for 3 months before they will consider granting an adoption decree. This won't be an issue with Elliott, but I don't know about Cathy. Cameroonian law also allows any surviving family member of the children in question to give their opinion about the adoption. If the family members for any reason don't want the adoption, it will not be granted. Most Cameroonian's are fundamentally opposed to adoption. They refuse the adoption, and yet will not care for the child. This is a rant for another day.

As a Missionary who lives on 100% support, I wonder if I will be able to raise enough support for us to live as well as take care of all of his medical needs. The unknown here makes me a tad bit nervous. I am living by faith day by day but trying to explain this to the Cameroonian government is another story. It's hard enough explaining to American's who"don't get it." So I'm praying and we shall see what God says.

I will tell you this, life without Elliott has become a blur and when looking at the future, I know he will be a part of my life in some way.

3.    What about my girls in Haiti?

Sophia and Nadege are my heart and my prayer is that one day I will be able to adopt them. They are currently living in an orphanage in Haiti and we send letters and pictures as often as we can. I have a dear friend who visits them monthly and gives me reports and occasionally I am able to skype with them. They were removed from an orphanage that was shut down by the Haitian government and is currently under investigation. Adoption isn't possible until the investigation is complete. Who knows when that will be? The same financial concerns are there as well..The girls know that I love them and I'm told, they tell the other kids in the orphanage, their mother lives in Africa! I have the sweetest letters from them that are signed, love your daughter... Receiving those in the mail here in Africa was priceless. I'm waiting for the day when I can bring them home.

Those are the answers to my most frequent questions in the last few weeks. I'm confident that the Lord will make things clear and for the time being, I will continue living life and allowing Him to guide me day by day.

In other news, I graduated from Bethel School of Ministry yesterday. It was a wonderful celebration that was full of both laughter and tears. I loved being a student learning more about the Lord this year. I will continue to help with various aspects of the school next year and I'm looking forward to applying  all of my newly acquired knowledge and learning even more!

On Friday, my first official Mission team will be coming to serve! I'm beyond thrilled. A second group arrives on Sunday and a third group arrives June 23rd. It's sure to be a very busy summer! The teams will be serving in several communities here in Cameroon. We have been preparing our Armor of God Vacation Bible School curriculum, they will minister at the local prison and help out at some primary schools. One group will be taking a trip to the Bush to live without electricity or running water.  We will be teaching about the Living Water in a Muslim and Jehovah's Witness Community and distributing  Water Purifiers to some needy families. At some point we will host a 5 day Youth Camp that will focus on spiritual and medical needs as well as some sports activities!  This is just a glimpse of what we will be doing! Follow the blog to see how God uses these groups of young adults to help change the Nation of Cameroon!

And finally for all of you who have asked how to give online, there is now a link on the blog page to my support account at the National Christian Foundation!

Thank you for all of your prayers, encouraging emails and financial support over the last few years. Lives are changed and people are able to see the love of Christ demonstrated because of all of YOU!

Blessings to you and your families! Hugs and love from Cameroon!

I Despise Medical Care in Third World Countries!

This is an update that I wrote in Oct. of 2011,  just before Achiever had his surgery. I was cleaning out my inbox and thought it was appropriate now. Dr. Mbassi gives me hope...

 

 

Beware - this is a rant... so if you'd rather not read it, read the next paragraph and stop.

 

The upside is Achiever is likely to be admitted to the hospital on Thursday to have surgery on Friday! Please pray, pray for Wisdom for us making decisions and for the hands of the medical personnel involved... Dr. Pahle is the name of the surgeon and he asked me to ask for prayers for him as well.  I'll do my best to keep you posted...

 

On to the rant...

 

I despise medical care in Third World Countries! I am not in love with our over-priced medical system in America either but I don't live in America right now. (that rant to come later I'm sure)

 

Achiever and I have been back and forth to the medical clinic where he will be having his surgery. His overall health has improved so much it's phenomenal. The surgeon that we have been seeing has moved to a private clinic instead of the hospital where he used to work. The new clinic is in the middle of no-where. It's literally surrounded by corn fields and a Banana plantation. This I am o.k. with.

 

The lack of smiles, non-physical touch and general rudeness to the patients that are coming for help I am not! People are in serious pain and no one cares. People are struggling to walk into the medical center because of injuries and/or pain and no one assists them. We are sitting outside of the female ward waiting to see the Dr. and there is a woman who is moaning and crying because of the pain that she's in. I am unsure of whether she is in pain from a procedure or something else. She starts screaming and no one even bothers to go look at her. We peek into the room and she is all alone. You must bring your own caregiver with you to the hospital here or you don't have one. There are no nurses to check on you, there is no pain pump to deliver drugs to you,  no one bringing you meals 3 times a day, and certainly not a CNA coming to be sure you have your daily bath. If you don't have a family member or someone to take care of you, you basically just suffer until it's time for you to go home. So our friend is in bed alone and in pain. Ashia is said by several people who are outside in the waiting room with us. (Ashia is kind of like saying it will be o.k. or I sympathize with you.) I overhear someone else saying that she should be beaten for making so much noise. That's helpful right...Literally all I can do is pray. The woman is so out of it, she can't understand me or respond to tell us what's wrong.

 

We were at the the clinic from 9 until 3:30 or so (nothing is fast here either, there is no sense or urgency for just about anything) In all of that time, no medical personnel checked on our friend that I could see. They may have checked while I was actually in with the Doc. but I can't be sure. No one brought her food, helped her bathe or gave her any pain meds. That $10 Tylenol that we would get in the U.S. won't be happening unless she can pay for it on the spot. Every time you need something done, you or your caregiver must go to the receptionist to find out the cost, you then go to the cashier to pay for it and then you can find a nurse to give them your receipt and you will get what you need. (or at least what you can pay for) A person can literally be bleeding from the head and you will not be helped until you first pay for everything they think you need to pay for. Mind you, a Doctor doesn't see you, a receptionist decides what's wrong and what you need to pay for. AARGH.

 

I ran out of money (money on hand) when we were at the clinic because I based the amount I took with me on the old hospital's prices. The old hospital is heavily supported by the Catholic Church and so their prices are cheaper because of it. The new place is private and has no support so... example - old hospital office visit price was 500 CFA - new Clinic price is 5000 CFA. 10x the amount. One has no way of knowing this until you are actually there. So anyway, in paying for all the things we did, we needed to do a second round of blood testing for a blood donor for Achiever. (no blood bank and no list of volunteers so we had to "find our own." The Doctor literally told me to look for a blood donor and bring them to be tested... Anyway - the blood tests were 16,000 CFA and I only had 13,000 on me.  Fortunately I had a driver with us so I could run to get more money quickly. I asked the receptionist, Can I give you the 13,000, you start the tests and I will come back in 15 minutes with the balance? NO - you have all or we do NOTHING. If you know me at all, you know my blood began to boil. I discussed with her for several minutes and told her I have the money, I will be back in a few minutes and I will pay the balance, please start the tests. It was pointless. I got Mama Grace, gave her the money and asked her to intervene while I ran to the bank.  Silly things like this is why people lose their lives because of stupidity. For the record, in this case Mama Grace got the Doctor who had operated on Lydia (and is operating on Achiever) because he knew that I had raised money for Lydia and they always had what they needed, he told them to do the testing for the $13,000 and do the other $3,000 when I came back. This is fine and good, but what happens when you don't have the "white man" from America who has a track record with the Doctor to help you out?? It shouldn't be that way. Right is right regardless of who you are or who you know. (FYI- White Man is the term for foreigners here, so I am called "white man" all the time.)  Lydia's mother told me stories of Lydia getting her casts on after her surgery. You pre-pay for the amount they think they will need. They ran out and she needed more so someone was sent to get her mother to come pay for more. (who was out back cooking for when Lydia woke up)  The money for the surgery was left with the headmaster of the school Lydia attended because we can't just turn over thousands of dollars to people. He was out of town and the money was in the bank. The staff at the hospital told Lydia's mother that they could not finish putting the casts on until she paid. They fought for over an hour. The headmaster finally called someone to borrow the money and take to the hospital and he paid them back when he came home. Ridiculous craziness but it's the way people live here. Lydia's mother is a tiny margin of the population that's willing to fight for what she knows is right and she would do anything for her child. The average person here just gives up and takes the attitude of, this is life.

 

A lady who works at the orphanage was called because her husband was sick at his job. She hired a taxi to get her and pick him up and go to the hospital. While she was there paying for everything her husband died in a chair in the waiting room. He hadn't been seen by a doctor. It's a mess and there is nothing I can do about it. She was walking with me yesterday asking how such things can happen? I don't have answers for her. Her final statement to me, this is our life. My thoughts are it doesn't have to be this way...

 

So many things are running through my mind. I am one woman that isn't a doctor and I can't change the medical system in Third World Countries. God has to be the one.  I have been a patient and a caregiver in these hospitals and it makes me sick to my stomach to see how people are treated. As long as I am able, I will fight for change and do my best for the people I'm helping. This is part of the reason why I am here. For now, my job is to pray for the people here and help wherever I can. In a meeting with the founder of a Medical School here, she told me, we need help, we need more training and we need better medical equipment. Can you help us? I don't know how much I can help. It pains me to admit it. There is only so much I can do. Yaya in herself can do nothing, but I know the one who can. My flesh struggles with not being able to fix every problem I see and help each person that is in need.  I selfishly asked the Lord to put blinders on me when I can't help someone that I see/feel is hurting. My heart hearts for them and I obsess with trying to find ways to fix whatever the problem is. I am not the fixer. I know The Ultimate Fixer and my job is to point people to Him.

 

This week I decided that I'm a bridge builder. The bridge connects things that may not otherwise be connected. It brings people together. My prayer is that I can be a bridge to bring people to the Lord and people can see Him as a dear Father who loves them and not some ominous ogre who lives in the "great by and by" directing our lives with a whip. If the bridge can connect and help with some physical needs that's great but the bigger picture is to connect with the Father above. He is the one that can "fix it all."

 

Pray for the people around the world who face these types of obstacles on a daily basis. This includes people in America. People in the U.S. who don't have health insurance can be seen in our hospitals but they are sometimes treated just as badly as the people in Third World Countries.  Do what you can to help in all of these situations. Ask the Lord, what is my part? then listen and OBEY what HE tells you to do.

 

In the meantime, I will fight for good medical care and provide the best help I can to Achiever and the Orphanage staff when he has his surgery. As a ministry, we will keep working to build a medical clinic here that will provide the best care we can provide for everyone regardless of their ability to pay. I'm fortunate to have had people fight for me when I needed medical care and couldn't afford it. Paying it forward is the least of what I can do.

 

Please know that I realize people in medical facilities in Third World Countries are basically doing the best they can with what they have. I understand that you can't just give everything away. I also understand that if this is all you know, you can't do differently. There is just something in me that wants human dignity for everyone and sympathy when people are in pain. People dying because they don't have money doesn't make sense to me, yet it happens everyday around the world. (even in the U.S.)

 

My prayer is for healing of our nations, our hearts and our bodies. I wish that Doctors were not necessary. I'm glad that the Lord has given them knowledge to be able to help up but dang it sometimes I just wish that He would do a Miraculous healing of everyone that's sick. I know He can. Until He comes back, I will do what I can to help lead people to Him, the Ultimate Healer. If that means meeting people's physical needs to build a relationship with them, in order for them to have the Ultimate Relationship, then so be it.

 

Thanks for joining me in this journey and for listening to my rant. feeling better knowing that He's got it.

It is Well With My Soul

                                                                              

The weekend was long and painful.

A few days after starting Vigabatrin, Elliott's myoclonic jerking returned with a vengeance and he also began having more seizures. Once, he started to giggle and he smiled. (this rarely happens so it's a treat when it does) I ran for the camera because I wanted to see if he would do it again... Instead of capturing a smile, he went into a tonic-clonic seizure that lasted more than 5 minutes. A tonic clonic seizure is when his eyes roll up in his head and his body is frozen stiff, the clonic part is that when this ends, his body begins to convulse all over. SCARY to say the least. This happened several times in a row, sometimes with the convulsions and sometimes without.

This behavior isn't something that I hadn't seen before, but it was increasing in length and intensity. He had more times of seizures than he had of peace. Generally after the cluster of seizures, he would scream, sometimes for hours. The Neurologist wasn't available to see us on Friday due to his heavy workload and then he lectured late Friday evening and Saturday. My only solution was to sedate him and keep him sedated around the clock. The scariest part of this was that even with the sedation, some form of the seizures returned. I was a wreck most of Saturday. Saturday evening, I finally decided, enough was enough. I began reading healing scriptures out loud over Elliott, I read through all of our Bible stories of children of promise and destiny (Moses, Isaac, Joseph etc) and worshiped, worshiped, worshiped until the wee hours of the morning. All of this was while holding him in my arms and as he gnawed on my shoulder, I spoke in his ear.

An interesting side note is that when Elliott is most upset, I whisper to him and sing. For about 3 weeks now, the only song he will calm down to is the hymn, It is Well With My Soul. I could sing any other song and he would cry. As I sang this one, he would calm down and generally go to sleep.

Sunday was a better day. Seizures were still occurring but not as frequent or intense.

Today, we saw Dr. Mbassi again. I LOVE DR. MBASSI. He is one of the best Doctor's that I have met in a long time. Another blog will be written about health care in Third World Countries... Doctor's spend 10 minutes with you, not touching you and arguing with you about why you are there and then send you home with an official diagnosis  of "looks sick" written in your medical book... but that's a rant for another day!

When speaking with Dr. Mbassi last week, he asked me to video tape as much as I could of the different type of seizures that Elliot was having and document any unusual behavior (which I was already doing, I'm anal! so I was happy that I had things in order)

This morning I went through all of the videos and labeled them with names based on what was happening in to him and the day and date that it occurred. I put them all in a nice little folder labeled seizure vids for Dr. Mbassi and thought I loaded them on my laptop. When we tried to retrieve them at the hospital, everything from my computer disappeared! The folder was there but empty. (mind you, I checked this TWICE today before leaving) The card reader that I have was left at home and my SD card couldn't read the pictures on my camera because I had filed them... I had saved them in Quick Time and Dr. Mbassi's computer couldn't open the files. AARGH. Dr. Mbassi calmly told me not to worry, we would find something that would work. He spent more than 30 minutes getting the files to convert into something he could see! Never have I had a Dr. in any country take this much time and have this much patience. I expected him to send me home to find the videos and come back another day. Nope. Oh, and did I mention that today was Dr. Mbassi's day OFF. HE DOESN'T WORK ON MONDAY'S. And yet, I have seen him on Monday's at least 4 times. Today was also another Public Holiday for Cameroon and after a crazy week and a weekend of lecturing, he should have been at home in his bed resting... Yet, here he was with the crazy Missionary, on the brink of tears, patiently trying to help care for our boy.

He reviewed the videos 3 or 4 times each and then began asking questions and evaluating Elliott. He finally concluded that the drug was indeed working. In a small percentage of people the seizure activity increases at the onset of taking the drug, while the body adjusts to it. Add to that we took Elliott off of another drug that he probably should have been weaned from and there you go. His poor little system was confused. (Toya's words, not the doctor's.)

So we have added an additional drug to help keep the seizures at bay while his body adjusts. It took us more than 3 hours and visits to zillions of Pharmacies but we finally found it! It's almost 8 p.m. and so far today Elliott hasn't had ONE seizure. God is so good and He's so faithful!

Before leaving today Dr. Mbassi said to me, You must be a woman of strong faith. Many people cannot handle these things. He said, this isn't your child, why would you take such measures for him? He asked me how I do it and if I ever have doubts. Oh yes, I do. and I cry, and scream and yell... but I also pray and search scriptures for answers and trust God to make His word a reality in my life and the lives of those around me.  Apparently, the doc has had patients who have "thrown" their children away after receiving these types of diagnosis. There are many reasons why I'm sure. Disabilities in any form in Africa are generally seen as a "curse" or witchcraft etc. The child is considered a burden. In the rare case that families keep the children, there are usually no resources available to them because medical care costs money that they don't have. The Social Welfare system here doesn't have the resources to take care of them either so people do the bare minimum and it's usually not enough.

The BEST, BEST, part of my day. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Let me assure you, this is not the worse case of West Syndrome that I have seen. You are fortunate, you were able to afford an MRI and we have clear pictures of his brain and what is there. I have hope that he will get better. I am encouraged that there has already been progress with him in the short time we have been treating him. If we can get the seizures under control, I think he will begin to develop normally. It will take time, but I believe he will get better." He can't tell me how much better. No one knows. There are already many dead Neuron's in his brain but we caught things early and while he may be slower than other children, he may eventually catch up. 

In the short time that Elliott has been treated, his little hands that were permanently balled into fists have become loose. His arms move and he is now able to suck his fingers (although it scares him sometimes) He can lift his head and shift his body and his legs aren't stuck in a permanent "lock." He recognizes certain people and his eyes have begun responding to light. I could go on and on. All of this is to say how faithful God is and that he is still healing people.

We had a great discussion about faith and what I believe and why I do what I do. His final statement to me... Surely God is preparing you to take care of your own healthy children and husband one day! (Everybody thinks I have to be married! so funny) Anyway - he thanked me for talking with him and thanked me for caring for Elliott. I told him that it's not ME. It's God touching the hearts of all of YOU that make any of this with Elliott possible.

He had an MRI, we were able to travel to Yaounde and he can eat on a daily basis because you gave sacrificially and you are faithful to pray. I'm so grateful to everyone who has helped us, who encourages me and who loves the Lord enough to serve a child without a hope for a future otherwise. I am just the fortunate one who is able to hug and squeeze him and feel his heartbeat.

This isn't easy. Many days I wonder what in the world I'm doing in a Third World Country with a random child. There are days when I wonder if we will be able to keep up with his food and medicine and diapers and always when we are running out, help always comes.

I'm so grateful. I love the Lord and I love all of YOU. We will stay in Yaounde a few more days to be sure the new drugs are working well and then I will head home to Buea to prepare for the 3 Mission teams I have coming in the next few weeks.

I'm sure if Elliott could talk, He would say, Thank You! Thank you, for giving to the Lord, I am a life that was saved... In more ways than one.

I'm looking forward to the day when he is telling the testimony of his life. How he could have been  "thrown away" and forgotten, but people all over the world cared enough to be the hands and feet of Jesus here on the earth so that lives could be forever changed. My prayer is that through his life, many others will also be able to say with conviction that, It Is Well with their souls...

Blessings!

In Other News....

Elliott is big news but we do have other things going on in Ministry!

We are so excited that we have 12 people coming to do short term missions in Cameroon this summer!

3 are staying for six weeks, 4 are coming with my former job Adventures In Missions and several are coming from my church, Rozetta Baptist Church!

We will have a busy summer of VBS programs, working with people in the local prison, teaching life skills, teaching Bible studies, hopefully planting some gardens so that people can have proper nutrition and so much more!!! We will also take a trip to the Bush and hopefully bless people with much needed water filters!

We have curriculum talking about the Living Water as well as discussing the Fruit of the Spirit and how spiritual growth relates to things growing in a natural garden.

I am thrilled that people want to travel to share the love of Christ and His gospel with those in the Nation of Cameroon!

I am asking people to join us in praying for our summer ministry every Thursday from now until July 12 when the last people go home.

We are trusting God to do a mighty work in the lives of those coming, their friends and families as well as the people of Cameroon!!!

Stay tuned all summer long as our visitors will be writing their own guest blogs to tell you about their God encounters this summer!

Day of Miracles

WOW - a lot has happened since my last post and it's only been a few days.

Elliott and I have traveled back to Yaounde because he was having tonic seizures every few minutes. Many times he was not breathing or breathing very shallow during them. This is very dangerous as his brain isn't getting oxygen during seizures...

Dr. Mbassi asked us to come back and he once again saw us on a day that he doesn't see patients.  This is such a gift. He took the time to go through Elliott's MRI CD very carefully because we had concerns about Hydrocephalus. After reviewing for more than 30 minutes, he then took me through 20 or so slides that he thought were important for me to see. His conclusion - No Hydrocephalus. He doesn't have excess fluid in his brain and the circumference of his head has not increased. (he measured)  What looks like excess fluid in his brain is because of the shrinking of his brain...There is more space there than should be... I don't understand it all but I do trust him.

He also showed me a series of "black dots" that are all over his brain. These are dead spots in his brain that the seizures have caused to die. It's imperative that we get the seizures to stop so that he has a better chance of developing normally. He is 5 months old but his body thinks he's a month as far as his developmental capabilities go. He is growing normally and has even started teething but he behaves very much like a newborn.

Dr. Mbassi was ready to admit us to the hospital. He had orders written out and everything... As he explained to me (AGAIN) the dangerous side effects of the drug ACTH and why we needed to be hospitalized, I asked him about the drug Vigabatrin? There are only 2 drugs to fight Infantile Spasms and this one had much less side effects. He told me the Vigabatrin was a good drug but it's not available in Cameroon and has the side effect of causing blindness or peripheral vision loss in some patients. Elliott is already blind. (we are not sure if it's permanent or temporary because of the seizures) I asked him if we could get the drug flown in from the U.S. did we have time to wait for it?? He told me the drug is very expensive and then told me that there is ONE pharmacy that occasionally has it. He gave me 45 minutes (11:00 a.m.) to see if they had it and get the first dose into our baby or we had to check into the hospital later that night.  He did tell me that if we were sure that we could have it by Wed. morning then he would hold off on making us take the ACTH.

I immediately called the driver and had him speak to the Doctor in French to get the directions to the pharmacy. I called my friends and asked them to pray. We made it to the Pharmacy and they miraculously had the drug! It was flown in from France a few days before. They had a 2 month supply! I practically flew backwards in the chair when they told me. I just kept thanking God over and over... Tears came and I had to gather myself... It was 10:45 a.m.!!!!! The pharmacist promised to order more for me in the hopes that it makes it here in time for Elliott's next doses...

We will take it twice a day for a month and I will come back to Yaounde for EEG's and lab tests... If all is well, he will continue until the seizures have completely stopped. If things are not changing with his brain activity then we will be admitted to the hospital and have to take ACTH... Praying for Vigabatrin to work!

My next goal was to find us a place to stay. When Dr. Mbassi asked us to come back, I called the guest house. They had space for us until Tuesday morning when a large group was arriving for a conference. No problem, I told them. We will be admitted to the hospital before then... (Dr. Mbassi had already told me so when I called to tell him about the tonic seizures) Now we had a problem. No hospitalization but we still had to stay in Yaounde for monitoring... Our budget is small and hotels are out of our price range!

There is another Missionary Training Center with housing nearby but the guard refused to let us come in to talk to anyone. He gave me a number to call which I called for several hours with no one answering the phone. Tuesday morning came and all of our bags were packed but we literally had nowhere to go. The people for the conference showed up at the Guest House 4 hours before they were supposed to and I was occupying their room.  We prayed. The driver finally showed up and I asked him to take me back to the other Missionary compound. Do you have reservations he asked, No I said but God knows what we need.

We came back and the same guard was there and he began shouting at me and the driver. He tried to call the number that HE gave ME the day before. Nothing... He called someone else, the number had changed... I finally just asked him to direct me to the office and he reluctantly agreed.

The Receptionist questioned me for 30 minutes about why I was in Yaounde with a baby with no place to stay... (only in Cameroon) She finally gave me the key to what I thought was a room and told me the price (almost double of what we were paying before but what could I do) She told me to go look at the room to see if it was satisfactory... It turned out to be a 3 bedroom apartment with everything! Oh yes, it was satisfactory indeed!

When I went back her next question was where was my husband? I don't have one? You don't have a husband but you are a Missionary and you have a baby??? Jesus is not pleased with you, she says... I then explained about Elliott and she said... So you are actually on Mission NOW? well, yeah! God Bless you, you will not pay for the baby! and with that she cut our room rate in half!!!! We were now paying $1.25 more per night for a 3 bedroom apartment! GOD IS AWESOME!!!!! We have a stove and fridge so I don't have to buy food and we have Missionaries from all over the world to fellowship with for the next week!

other Miracles:
We found Zucchini!!! seems like a small thing but we haven't been able to find for months and the last time we bought it, it was like $4 a pound! we found them for $.50 each! Yippee for green vegetables!!!!! (this wasn't the biggest miracle but it was a blessing indeed)

Imlay City United Methodist Church sent me a message that they had a small amount of money to pay for a Dr. bill or something... The amount they had was exactly enough for his 2 month supply of Vigabatrin!

we found 6 bottles here for the price we paid for 1 in Buea!

Elliott slept through the night without screaming and without being attached to me!!

Elliott took the Vigabatrin with no problems and smacking his lips for more.


For the most part he seems to be doing well with it. His myoclonic jerking has come back but I hope this will change with time on the meds. He is a bit more irritable but the seizures are so much less. He has gone from having them every few minutes to 5 or 6 in a day!!! Our God is good.

Thanks for all the prayers, financial support and encouraging emails. We wouldn't be here without you.

Miracle Baby

                                                                                

Elliott is a miracle. I knew this based on how bad a shape he was in when we took him from the orphanage to the hospital and everyone kept asking me how this baby was alive. He went several weeks without proper nourishment and his tiny muscles were stiff, stiff, stiff. What I didn't know is how much of a miracle he really is.

This week we ventured back to "his home" at the orphanage to give them an update on all of the medical procedures that took place while we were in Yaounde. They informed me that they had found the actual birth mother of Elliott and his sister Cathy Praise and that she had visited them while we were away. (Elliott and Cathy Praise were abandoned on Dec. 16, 2011 - ten days after their birth.)

As it turns out, their mother has given birth to 9 children. Cathy Praise was number 8 and Elliot was number 9. Sadly, 6 of her 9 children were DEAD and the only other living child was ill. This jolted me. What do you mean, I asked? Were they still born? Did they have an illness? Does the mother or father have some disease?

The Orphanage staff couldn't answer these questions for me. These were not answers that they were looking for. The father of Elliott and Cathy isn't the same father as the other children, so one would assume that there is something genetic with the mother.

Because of the deaths of her other children, Elliott's mother tried to have an abortion 2 months after finding out she was pregnant. I have no idea how many months along she was when she attempted this. I only know that she wasn't successful. Miracle number 2.

Mom found out about the orphanage and went "for a visit" while she was pregnant. She took food and gifts for the children there and asked for a tour. She was satisfied that the orphanage was a good place for children to grow up and she secretly made plans to bring her child here after giving birth. Miracle number 3.

At the time of the attempted abortion, mom didn't know that she was carrying twins. Complications with the attempted abortion prompted her to seek medical attention and it was then that she found out and decided to keep the children. Sometime later she went into labor and had serious complications. She had to have a C-section and she and the children were hospitalized for 10 days. When she left the hospital, she and her sister made the short drive to the orphanage. Mom stood at the main road while the sister took the children and dropped them off at the orphanage. She told the orphanage staff that she was the aunt and the mother was dead. (They told their family that the children had died in the hospital.)

The orphanage took the children and gave them a home but various things happened that made them suspicious about the actual identities of the children and the woman who dropped them off. Miracle number 4.

After Elliott became sick, the orphanage staff took measures to find the woman who dropped off the children and to get the truth about the situation. They were finally able to locate her and the birth mother 2 weeks ago and the truth came out. Miracle number 5.

All of these things left my mind reeling. During the various hospital visits, I have been asked about the pregnancy and birth of Elliott. Were there complications? Was there trauma to his head? Something had to cause the Tetanus and there are no signs as to why he had it... He also has significant brain damage that appears to be caused by trauma but the doctor's can't be sure. Suddenly, I have a way to get the answers... Except that when we call the mother her phone isn't going through. We call her family members and they tell us that she hasn't been seen in a while, she has traveled. No one can tell us where but they promised to look for her and have her come... We are still waiting...

In the meantime, I get angrier and angrier. I have spent a lot of time angry over how much Elliott has suffered and the injustice that is done to many children, all over the world. God and I have had some serious conversations...

It wasn't until yesterday that I started to let go of the anger and look at all of the blessings that have been a part of Elliott's life. He is still alive. He has people all over the world who are praying for him and helping financially with his medical care and upkeep, He has a Pediatric Neurologist in Cameroon who made himself available on his off days to see him, his body is no longer stiff as a board and he can eat normally and put his fingers in his mouth, etc., etc. etc.

While he continues to have problems, he is still defying the odds of what the doctors' say he can and cannot do.

Three days ago, he started having a different type of seizure. His eyes rolled up in his head and went, round and round and round. His legs and arms were slightly raised but he wasn't convulsing... This happened at least 4 times with the last seizure lasting a good 5 minutes... NOT good. Today it happened again and I called the Neurologist. He has asked us to come back to Yaounde for treatment. AARGH... I was tempted to get angry all over again and I had to stop myself. God is still good, He still loves Elliott and He still loves me. I am fortunate to have the Neurologists cell phone number to reach him quickly to find out what to do...

I shifted from anger to Praise. Thank you Lord that you have provided for Elliott. Thank you that we are able to go to Yaounde and we have housing and drivers and translators already in place. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for all that you have done thus far and will continue to do on behalf of your child... etc., etc, etc.

So as I prepare myself to gather all of his things and pack again and wait for the unknown, I trust God. I love Him and I know He only wants the best for His children. I refuse to get angry. I will just wait with anticipation for the next set of miracles in Elliott's life.

I hold on to Hebrews 13:5b and 6
for He, God Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. I will not, I will not, I will not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor  let you down,  or relax My hold on you, Assuredly not!

⁶ So we take comfort and are encouraged and confidently and boldly say, The Lord is my Helper; I will not be seized with alarm, I will not fear or dread or be terrified. What can man do to me? 

Please continue to pray for baby Elliott, for me and for the Doctor's who are caring for him. 

Blessings to all of you and your families. 

Fight the Power

                                                 Elliott "fighting the power."

Fight the Power is the name of a popular song and theme of a movie from my younger days...in the movie and the song, people were fighting the power of racism and injustice.  Today this phrase has various meanings for me.

Elliott often has his arms and/or legs raised for various lengths of time. Sometimes it's a minute, sometimes it's hours. Lately it has been hours and he sometimes has one arm up with his little fist pumping as it flails... The other night, "That's right baby, fight the power of this disease," came out of my mouth as he was flailing... just a random thought but later as I was changing his diaper his hand again went up and I said to my friend... Fight the Power! She immediately laughed because she knew
exactly what I was talking about... 

The past 6 weeks, I have watched this child suffer through so much. Many times it feels as if we make headway with one issue and then another a few more decide to show up. It's frustrating at best. As I walk up and down the room speaking life into Elliott's ears and praying over him as he sleeps, there are always a lingering questions in the back of my mind. Is this enough? Are we missing something? Have I done everything right? Did he have his medication? Should I be giving him all of this medication? The list goes on and on. Sadly, I won't have the answers to most of these questions. The only definitive answer I have to anything is that God is in control. He is a good God and he loves Elliott and he loves me. Why He has placed him in my life at this time is still a mystery to me. I don't have to have the answers, but I know the person who does and fortunately for me, I trust HIM a lot more than I trust myself.

The past few days have been up and down. Elliott has been running a fever, AGAIN and has been waking up from a dead sleep screaming and/or crying with a cry I don't recognize. For 2 days now, he hasn't eaten well taking in only 2 oz. or so at a time and this is after several hours of not eating. He has developed a yeast infection  and is losing his hair due to a side effect of one of his medications. He is definitely not himself and I don't understand why. I treat the symptoms that I can, I sing, I pray.

Lately my prayers have included the phrase, we WILL fight the power. We will fight the power of this disease in Elliott's life by prayer. We will fight the power of death by speaking life and healing scriptures. We will fight the power of depression by choosing joy and we will fight the power of injustice to children by being a voice for them. There is a line in the song "Fight the Power," that says, "What we need is awareness, we can't get careless." In the coming months, I will do my best to raise my awareness of this disease of "Infantile Spasms," help others understand the horrors of healthcare in Third World Countries as well as help raise awareness of the plight of orphaned and abandoned children around the world. Elliott is one of hundreds of thousands around the world who suffer because no one knows that they exist. Most people would say that he is one of the "lucky" ones.  For every Elliott who has been helped, there are thousands who die and their deaths go unnoticed. This has to stop. Change starts with you and me.

This will be my last regular email update about Elliott via email. There are so many people following Elliott's story who are not on my distribution list but are following our blog because many of you have helped spread the word. I will update the blog once a week (http://hisbodyministries.blogspot.com/) and Facebook (His Body Ministry page) every few days. If you would like to continue following his story (and other ministry things) please subscribe to the blog and/or like our His Body Ministry Facebook page.

Thank you for your help in Fighting the power of the enemy on a daily basis. I'm sure that he is much angrier today because his plans continue to be frustrated by the prayers and actions of the people of God.

I'm grateful to all of my Cameroon family that I have here on the ground who help on a daily basis and who try their best to get me to rest... :-) I'm so grateful to all of you who are praying, giving financially and sending encouraging emails. 

Thank you to my church who has been praying. collecting money and allowing people to send "stuff" for baby Elliott and are organizing it and getting it to us here in Africa. Rozetta, I got nothing but love for you!

Very special thanks to the Yon family that threw a fundraiser this weekend to help with all of Baby Elliott's expenses. I love you guys!

There are so many of you that I don't know personally who are praying and who have given. You are loved much more than you know. Even though we don't know you by name, we are praying for you and your families.

Blessings!

Babies need a lot of Stuff!

                                                                               


I have emails with people asking if they can send Elliott "stuff"
Here is a list of some of the most crucial things that we need but aren't always available here. He will be on medication and have to travel to Yaounde monthly for the next 18 months and I anticipate him being with me all of this time...

*Baby Wipes - what is available here is AWFUL
*Boudreaux Butt Paste - please, please, please!
*Cloth Diapers
Rubber Pants
Diaper Pins
6-18 month boy clothes
Bibs
Teething Ring
*Numz It or Orajel (something to soothe those teething gums)
*Onesies - long and short sleeved
Blanket Sleepers (AKA bunny suits)
Pop Up Hamper for all those dirty clothes


I have to make all of his baby food so things we will need:
Non-Electric Hand Turn food mill
Ice Cube Trays
Hand Blender
Tupperware (with lids-any sizes)
Vegetable Seeds 


and a Toya wish is picture frames... I'm kind of obsessed with taking pictures of the baby! :-)

Hand me downs are perfectly fine...Please don't send too much! We are only bringing over one 50 pound bag!

Items can be mailed to my church by May 25th. I have a group coming over in early June and they will bring items with them. Please add $5 or $10 to cover the cost of the extra baggage fee to bring the items over. ($200 per extra bag)

Checks can be made payable to:
Rozetta Baptist Church
Rr 1 Box 69
Little York, IL 61453

Attention Missy Bennett 


write Baby Elliott on the memo line of checks so the treasurer knows what to do... and if you don't send a check, please send Missy a little note letting her know items are for Baby Elliott.


Thanks in advance!

LOVE CAN SAVE A LIFE

                                 Elliott the first day we took him to hospital - April 4

                                      Elliott last Friday April 27

After a drama filled morning we finally saw the Neurologist late yesterday afternoon. He wasn't going to see us at all (yesterday and today are Public Holiday's in Cameroon) so I'm grateful that we were able to have a consultation.

The Neurologist is still convinced that Elliott has WEST Syndrome. The MRI showed that their are no other lesions in his brain and this is something that we were very concerned about.

We told him about our weekend of Elliott having serious convulsing, and a terrible cough that left his body in spasms for several hours. I showed him videotape from the weekend. The good news is that some of what we thought were seizures were not. The Dr. thinks that his muscles are trying to come back to full usage and that is why he flails as much as he does. He spent a good amount of time with us showing us the difference between the flailing and a true seizure. After we get the seizure's under control we will go back to find out the cause of the flailing but for now He assures us, this is the least of his problems. It's annoying but nothing to worry about.

We have 7 new medications and they seem to be working.

Today has been a better day. The coughing isn't as violent and is down considerably. He has had noticeably less seizures and has been able to sleep comfortably.

We will stay in Yaounde until Thursday for observation and to be sure that there are no adverse reactions to any of the medications. There are 2 other Doctor's in the U.S. that have been graciously helping with this case and I will wait to get a 2nd and 3rd opinion. Hopefully we will be able to travel back to Buea on Friday. We will return in one month to have new EEG's and repeat several tests to see how his brain is responding to the medication.

So many of you have sent me emails asking how I am and I have politely ignored them. I'm not going to lie. This is rough. It's harder than I ever thought it would be. Who knew that you could fall in love so quickly and have so much pain for a child I just met. Some day's I'm angry with God for breaking my heart but this is who I am and what He has called me to do. Elliott isn't the first sick child I have dealt with and he surely won't be the last.

There are many times that I am afraid. I'm afraid that we won't find the answers, or if/when we do, we won't have the money or the correct treatment available. I'm afraid that he will die before we find treatment. I'm afraid that I don't have the resources at my fingertips and people will get sick or me asking for help. I'm afraid that he will continue to suffer but most of all I'm afraid to give up. I have had to remind myself that Perfect Love Casts out ALL fear and that fear doesn't come from God.

I'm guilty of trying to do this by myself, without the help of others and without the help of God. Neither will work. God didn't ask me to come to do this alone. He asked me to be a voice for the voice-less and a willing servant to serve those who are in need. I can't do those two things without leaning on Him. I will admit to you that I have been angry with God. Watching this child cry and suffer has broken me like nothing else has. As I watch him depend on us for his everything, I have been reminded that this is what God wants from us. He wants us to seek Him and need Him for EVERYTHING. Not just when we think we can't do it on our own. Elliott can't do anything without the aid of his care-givers and he has no problem opening his mouth with every little need. Sometimes all he want's is to be touched. He just wants me near him. There are times when I get out of bed and he immediately cries. All I need to do is walk back over to the bed and he is quiet. He desires my presence, just as my Heavenly Father desires my presence. He wants me with Him AT ALL TIMES, not just when I think I need Him for something.

I am guilty of trying to be Mrs. Fix It. Toya can fix NOTHING but Christ can fix ALL. This whole experience has reminded me of just how much God loves us and longs for us. He desires our Presence. He desires to talk with us and fellowship with us intimately. He will do anything for us because we are His children and He loves us. This doesn't mean that we always get what we want and as kids we often have to be disciplined to learn what is right and what is wrong. I'm so glad that I don't have to do it alone. I have Jesus and I have all of YOU!

Many times I have been told that it's a miracle this baby is even alive. What if we didn't care? What if we said, we don't have what he needs so let someone else worry about him. He surely wouldn't be alive today.

Thank you for following Elliott's story. Thank you for your prayers and your sacrificial giving. Thank you for loving children half way around the world that you have never met. Most of all I thank you for listening to the voice of the Lord. Myself and a few others were chosen to be "on the field" to see this up close and personal but we could not do anything without you hearing the voice of the Lord and helping where He speaks to your heart to help.

Thank you for being the Body of Christ. We are surely the hands and feet of Jesus on the earth and the Nation of Cameroon and your neck of the woods will be changed by the story of this sweet baby.

Elliott is thriving and getting the help he needs because of the love of Jesus shown through YOU!

Please keep all of us in your prayers.