I went to court in Cameroon for the first time. What an experience that was. The courthouse looks like a broken down building that we would have condemned in the U.S. Men and women sitting around in their black robes and fake George Washington wigs...scary It was an experience, I will leave it at that.
One of the inmates that I work with in the prison asked me to attend court to hear his sentencing. I wasn't sure why he wanted me there and what his expectations of me were, but he assured me that my presence alone would bring comfort to him, and he simply wanted someone else there to hear what the judge would say.
The Sunday prior to his sentencing, he asked me if I would do a favor for him. I looked at him quizzically and told him, it would depend on what he was asking. He asked if he could have the privilege of calling me mom. I was completely shocked. I asked what that meant. He said it was simply a sign of respect and it was the only thing he had to offer me. With tears in my eyes, I said yes. As I walked out of the jail, he called to me. "Mom you will come to court, yes??" "Yes, I will be there."
So I prepared to go to court last Thursday morning. I arrived late because of transportation issues with other ministry that I'm involved in. By the time I arrived at the prison, the inmates going to court had been locked in a secure vehicle to take them there. This was new to me. Every other time I have seen inmates going to court, they walk with a few guards or the inmates themselves have to pay taxi fare to go. These particular inmates were "high risk" so they were in a very secure vehicle. I went to the guard to ask where the court was so that I could meet them there. He directed me and as I began to walk away, I heard frantic screams, "Mommy, Mommy, don't go!" I turned but could not see him, I simply responded, "I will meet you there. I am on my way to the courthouse, don't worry." There was absolute terror in his voice. I don't think I have ever heard an adult male so frightened and I wasn't quite sure what to do.
I made my way to the courthouse and stood outside, waiting for the prisoners to come. I stood there praying and I began to pace asking God, what do I do?, what does he need?, I am not equipped for this.
When the inmates arrived, they were in handcuffs and some in shackles. I had never seen Solomon in handcuffs and it literally broke my heart. The tears began to fall and I was again unsure of what I was doing there. I tried to collect myself to be strong for him.
We strolled to the courthouse "together." I sat in the courtroom opposite the inmates, so that he could see where I was. His eyes were red with tears. I have no idea how long he had been crying or all of the reasons why. He mouthed, Thank you, to me and my heart threatened to burst once more. My mind reeled, thank you for what? I haven't done anything. God help me to understand what is really needed here.
His case was the first called. The judge made a big show of reading through all of his paperwork from when he was first apprehended more than 2 years ago. I felt yucky listening and watching how much joy the judge seemed to take at talking about everything that had been done wrong. Solomon had told me his story of why he was there and what the judge said, matched almost exactly but it was the way that the judge took delight discussing it that made me a little bit crazy.
Solomon continued to turn around to look at me. I mouthed, it's o.k. I am praying. You are fine, you are strong. He had previously told me that he was ready to serve whatever sentence was given him. He said that coming to Prison actually changed his life because it was here that he met the real Jesus. He didn't think he would even still be alive if he hadn't come.
As the judge finished, he told Solomon that he could speak. Solomon was very humble and thanked the judge, told him once again that he was sorry for his crimes and grateful for the chance to be able to change his life. He said that he had learned many lessons while in prison.
Finally the judge pronounced his sentence. He was given four years and they deducted the 2.5 years that he has already spent in prison waiting for his sentence from this time. Salomon was overjoyed. He was previously worried about how long he would have, but the fact that he will get out and still be able to raise his young children, thrilled him.
He turned to me and smiled for the first time. When he got back to his seat, he put his hands in the prayer position and again mouthed thank you to me. I was so overwhelmed. I didn't know what to say or do. As I felt the tears start to form, I mouthed to him that I was leaving and I would see him next week.
My heart was un-done. I chose to walk and pray instead of getting in a taxi to my next destination.
The Lord reminded me of Isaiah 61 - where he promised Beauty for Ashes. I used to do a program for women who were hurting using these scriptures.
Do you think women are the only ones hurting, the Lord seemed to say to me. Do you think they are the only ones who need my comfort? I began to weep. I didn't really have any answers. Of course, I know that isn't the case but sometimes, I forget.
We all need reminders sometimes. For me, I often wonder if what I'm doing is really making a difference. Sometimes, I feel as if I am not "working hard enough." I am not doing enough. There is much more that can be done. Most of the time I don't see the tangible results of what I do. I'm o.k. with that. I understand that I'm a seed planter and God brings the harvest. I may never know all that going to court or sharing time with inmates will do for them, but I do know what God is doing in me.
I love the changes that He's making in me and that He has given me a heart for hurting people. I admit, I don't always enjoy every aspect of ministry, but I enjoy knowing that God is healing the broken hearted, and freeing people from whatever prison they are in. And along the way, He continues to free me from the things that bind me.
Isaiah 61
Good News for the Oppressed
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is upon me,
for the LORD has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor.
He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted
and to proclaim that captives will be released
and prisoners will be freed.
2 He has sent me to tell those who mourn
that the time of the LORD’s favor has come,
and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.
3 To all who mourn in Israel,
he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
that the LORD has planted for his own glory.
4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins,
repairing cities destroyed long ago.
They will revive them,
though they have been deserted for many generations.
5 Foreigners will be your servants.
They will feed your flocks
and plow your fields
and tend your vineyards.
6 You will be called priests of the LORD,
ministers of our God.
You will feed on the treasures of the nations
and boast in their riches.
7 Instead of shame and dishonor,
you will enjoy a double share of honor.
You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land,
and everlasting joy will be yours.
8 “For I, the LORD, love justice.
I hate robbery and wrongdoing.
I will faithfully reward my people for their suffering
and make an everlasting covenant with them.
9 Their descendants will be recognized
and honored among the nations.
Everyone will realize that they are a people
the LORD has blessed.”
10 I am overwhelmed with joy in the LORD my God!
For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation
and draped me in a robe of righteousness.
I am like a bridegroom in his wedding suit
or a bride with her jewels.
11 The Sovereign LORD will show his justice to the nations of the world.
Everyone will praise him!
His righteousness will be like a garden in early spring,
with plants springing up everywhere.
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