The Pain of Healing...

Achiever's first night after surgery was rough to say the least.

His surgery that was estimated to take 2 hours was slightly more than four. His left leg gave the Doctor's some problems. In the words of Dr. Pahle..."That leg was torture." His left leg continues to be etremely swollen and full of pain. He can barely move it.

During the night he woke every few minutes shouting various things. Auntie, carry me away from here. Auntie, hold me. Auntie the pain...

I did my best to comfort him while trying to hold his legs down so that he can't cause damage to what has been done to help him. Even in his unconscious state he is aware of where you are and your movements. I had spent some time with his head in my lap cradling him until his legs began to involuntarily "jump up." I moved down to the end of the bed to hold his legs and he began to scream, Auntie, hold me, come this way, hold me. I began to pray that his legs would stop jumping so that he could feel the comfort he so desperately needed.

As I lay with him in my arms he would say, hold me Auntie, tight, hold me. I held him, I sang, I whispered in his ears, "Give me all your pain."

Later, as he was calm the Lord began to speak to me. Let me hold you Toya, let me take all your pain. You don't have to do it alone. As tears came to my eyes, I saw the picture of Achiever raising his hands as I walked around the bed. He was very unconscious but he knew where I was going and he followed me with his hands. The Lord does the same with us. We are walking around full of pain, doubt and fear. All the while, He is there with His arms wide open saying, come to me, let me carry your pain. You don't have to walk alone...

Why do we try to carry it all ourselves? Better question, why do I try to do it myself? There is always going to be some sort of pain. Most of the time, in order for healing to come, you must go through various stages of pain. The beauty of this pain is realizing the joy that is going to come  from the other side.

Achiever lived with the pain of his spine and his legs being twisted. He was 3 years old before he even began to crawl. He is now 5 and is experiencing the pain of the legs being broken and repaired. This is the pain of healing. Without it, his healing will not come. Over and over the care giver of our "room-mate" kept telling Achiever, take care, they are helping you, they are helping you.

We go through many things in this life that cause us various types of pain. God is there telling us, take care, don't give up, I am here to help you. We must decide to give the pain over to Him and walk through the process of healing. Many times this means that we have to experience a bit more pain before the ultimate healing can come. The Lord reminded me last night that it is o.k. to give into the pain to allow Him to reveal to us what we need to know in order to be healed.

A little bit of pain now, for a lifetime of joy is worth it.

My heart breaks with and for Achiever during this time. He doesn't understand all that is going on with him. Truth be told, I don't even understand all that is going on with him. What I do know is that God is with him and He is comforting him in a way that we can't in the natural.  While Achiever goes through his pain, I will do my best to comfort him and allow the Lord to speak to me about all the "hidden pain" that has been in my own heart.

We will cry together and comfort each other as God heals both of us from the inside out.

Please continue to pray that Achiever's healing goes well and he deals with the least amount of physical pain possible. He is still struggling. We have given him a different medication to help him sleep a bit more as he heals.

Thank you again to all of you that donated to make this possible for him. His life will be forever changed.